The “Cirque du Freak” series of bestselling children’s novels by Irish author Darren Shan has been acquired by Universal Pictures and will be adapted for a motion picture of the same name. The film is due to begin shooting in February 2008 in New Orleans under the direction of Paul Weitz (About A Boy, In Good Company), and will star John C. Reilly (Gangs of New York, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story) as Larten Crepsley; Josh Hutcherson (Bridge to Terabithia) as Steve Leonard; and newcomer Chris Kelly as Darren Shan. Weitz is adapting some of the storylines from the novels for the screen. He and Lauren Shuler Donner (X-Men) will produce for their production companies, Depth of Field and The Donner’s Company.

Shan is also reworking his previously published adult horror novels. Looking forward to seeing those.

Well done, that Shan!

Tommy

One thing I don’t do is continue reading a book that doesn’t grab me. Time’s too precious to waste reading bad writing. On the other hand, when I find a book that I love, I like to shout about it from the rooftops, and that’s what I’m doing now with the Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer.

Colfer’s books about the teenage criminal mastermind and his dealings with the magical creatures below the surface of the earth are nothing but a joy to read. With clever plotting, brilliant characterisation and some of the best puns ever seen in print (LEP Recon, anyone?), you won’t be able to put a single one of these incredible stories down.

So, join Artemis, Butler, Holly and Foaly for adventures of true genius soon!

Tommy

The Mr Gum books by Andy Stanton are, to put it mildly, hilarious! I picked up the first of these irreverent adventures for my eight ear old, read it myself, and immediately went out to get the other two!

Mr Gum is a bad man. A very bad man. And, with the assistance of the world’s most disgusting butcher, Billy William III, sets out to reign over the residents of the sleepy town of lamonic bibber. The only things that stand in his way are a nine-year-old girl called Polly, an unlikely hero in the form of Friday O’Leary, and a 15.24 cm high gingerbread man with electric muscles: Alan Taylor.

Packed with puns and gags, I defy you not to laugh out loud on every single page! A must!

Tommy

My answer is always the same. No, you don’t need an agent to sell your writing; I sold my first four books direct to the publisher. However, if you want your work to land on the right editor’s desk and – more importantly – get the attention it deserves, then you need an agent.

More and more publishers are refusing unagented submissions, and who can blame them? The average guy in the street would never think of sitting down at a piano and playing a concert to a paying crowd without lessons or practice. Yet, because everyone knows the alphabet, they think they can write. A lot of wannabe writers simply hammer out the first idea they have with no concern for formatting, style or technique, then flood the market with their ‘masterpiece’. These manuscripts clog up the slush piles for the likes of you and me.

However, if an editor receives a submission via an agent, they know that the manuscript has already received a critical eye from someone who knows the publishing business and they’ll treat it seriously. If agents were to submit bad work, their reputations would quickly suffer – so they work hard to filter out the rubbish, and provide publishers with quality, salable writing. Think of it as the first of many quality control barriers your MS must pass through on the road to publication.

Plus, no-one knows more about publishing contracts than agents. They negotiate, amend and agree them on a daily basis. Trust me, if you’ve ever tried to wade through the jargon of a book contract, you’ll be glad to have someone on your side who speaks the lingo.

So, you need an agent. My writing career took off the day I shook hands with mine (and I’m not saying that just because I know she pops in here from time to time!) My agent is a force to be reckoned with when necessary, and I’m very glad we’re on the same team.

Getting an agent, however, isn’t easy. I should know; it took me years. There are, however, things you can do to help you get closer to the day you sign on the dotted line. What follows is advice I’ve learned by trying, failing, and trying again. You may already know a lot of what I’m about to say but, with any luck, there’ll be a nugget of information in this article that will find you an agent.

10. Don’t send your manuscript to anyone!

At least, not yet. Think for a second. Is it ready? Have you rewritten, put the piece away for a while, then rewritten again? Have you shown your work to and received criticism from other writers? No – showing it your significant other and/or parents won’t do. They love you. They’re proud of you. They won’t, despite what you think, tell you if your writing stinks. You need someone else in the same boat for that. You need another writer.

I send everything I write to an author friend of mine, and he sends everything he writes to me. We’ve been doing it for ten years (we weren’t authors when we started doing it – just two unpublished writers who met on an Internet forum and got chatting). We’re brutally honest about each other’s work; there would be no point in emailing it back and forth otherwise. Most of the time it’s just good to hear that everything reads the way you planned but, occasionally, we spot a glaring error or two that would have spelled doom had we submitted the piece without fixing.

Don’t know where to find a writer pal? Subscribe to one of the many online writer forums and get chatting until you find someone with a similar outlook. Join a local writers’ group or, if there isn’t one, stick a card in the library and start one. There are people like you everywhere, and your writing will benefit from meeting them.

One final point on getting that critique. Don’t pay any attention to the notion that other writers will steal your work if you send it to them to read. Trust me, they’re far too wrapped up in their own projects to want yours.

9. Take off your rose-tinted glasses.

Your work isn’t perfect; nobody’s ever is. Mine certainly isn’t. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that there isn’t a single creative project in the world that cannot be improved in some way. The trick is knowing when to stop fiddling and start submitting. You also need to be able to take criticism.

Yes, I know this is your baby, and you’ve probably spent long hours crafting it – but other people will find fault with it. It’s the nature of the business. You don’t always have to take their advice, or act upon it, but you do have to accept that suggestions will be given. I know a talented musician who wrote a song and sent it in to a music publisher. The publisher passed but was gracious enough to offer a few pointers as to how he thought the piece could be improved. My friend went ballistic, claimed the song was perfect as it was, and actually wrote back to the publisher to argue the point, saying that he obviously didn’t know a good tune when he heard one. You can bet the publisher didn’t consider any more submissions with that name at the top.

So, accept that people are going to tell you how things should change. They’re probably not going to be subtle about it, either. Chances are, they may have some great ideas you can use to improve the piece for its next submission. If you don’t agree, be ready to thank them for their time and move on.

8. Research, research, research.

You wouldn’t walk into a jeweler’s shop and ask to buy pork chops, and neither would you visit your butcher for a diamond ring. Yet writers consistently send out their work to agents – and publishers – who simply do not deal with their genre of books.

Sending your children’s adventure to an agent who deals with adult non-fiction won’t get you blacklisted anywhere, but it is a waste of your time, and that of whoever has to deal with your query at the other end. How much better to target your submissions to someone who might be interested in your work?

It’s not as if the information isn’t out there. Visit any bookshop and you’ll find writers’ directories, and virtually every agency has a website now with – get this – submission guidelines. They’re telling you what they want and how to give it to them – and yet so many writers get it wrong. Don’t be one of them.

7. Proper manuscript format

I’m not going to get into the age-old argument of Courier vs Times New Roman (if a publisher or an agent has a preference, they’ll tell you in their submission guidelines), but I will say this: make your manuscript look like a manuscript.

If you’re not sure what a proper manuscript should look like, check out William Shunn’s excellent guide here. Put simply, type on one side of a piece of paper, double-spaced with margins all around. Number the pages, put a basic header on each page and your contact details clearly on the title page.

Do not bind the manuscript in any way. No staples, no ring binders, no combs. If you must secure the pages – a simple bulldog clip at the top will do. That’s it. You wouldn’t trust a plumber if he turned up with a toolbox filled with odd looking implements. You want him to have plumber’s tools, pure and simple. Make sure your manuscript – your tool – shows you to be a writer.

6. Don’t try to be clever.

I’m not referring to your writing here; by all means try to be clever there. I’m talking about your submission. Trust me – being cute or unusual will only mark you out as an oddball; someone to be wary of. I doubt there is a single instance of an agent saying, ‘Look! Miss Writer has splashed red paint over the pages of her murder mystery manuscript! I’ll sign her today!’

You want potential agents to see you as nothing more than a potential client. A writer. That means you behave professionally from the word go – submission included. So, no clipart, no sketches (unless you’re a competent artist hoping to illustrate your own book), no coloured or patterned paper, no gifts in with the MS, so photographs of yourself, no reviews from your kids saying how much they like your stories… Nothing but the MS and a brief cover letter.

You really want to send an agent flowers? Wait until you’ve signed your first book contract through her. That’s what I did.

5. Query first.

Your first point of contact with a potential agent is a well-crafted query letter. There are dozens of websites devoted to writing queries, and I’ll be covering the topic myself in a future post. Query letters aren’t easy to write. You have to hook the agent with your idea, show her that you can write and give her enough of your background in just one page. Yes, you read that right – one, single page.

Search online for tips on writing great query letters but please do not make the mistake of sending in your entire manuscript unless it is specifically requested. All you’re doing is burning bridges. Some agencies allow you to enclose a chapter or two with your query or, rarely, query via email. Their submission guidelines will tell you exactly what you can and can’t send.

4. Follow the guidelines.

Yes, I’m telling you to read the guidelines again – but so many writers don’t. The agents out there are trying to help you get published, all you have to do is listen! If the guidelines say send three chapters, send three. Not two, or five, or four. Three. If they say they’re snowed under and aren’t accepting submissions – don’t submit anything and move on to the next agency! It’s that simple!

And, yes, the rules apply to you. No, you will not stand out by sending what you want, when you want. Your submission will simply be consigned directly to the rubbish bin. Why would an agent want to work with you if you can’t follow a few, simple rules? How does she think you will be when faced with a mountain of notes from an editor if you won’t listen when asked to send in nothing more than a brief outline?

Can’t find an agency’s guidelines on the website? Write in for them, enclosing a stamped addressed envelope. It will be worth it.

3. Get Snarky!

Sadly no longer active, Miss Snark’s blog was an acerbic peek into the life of a literary agent. The archives are still online here. Read everything. Laugh. Then do exactly what she says.

2. Use the correct postage.

Do NOT guess when sending in a manuscript. Take your package to the post office and get it weighed. If you don’t put enough postage on, your MS is likely to end up in a sorting office somewhere, waiting to be collected. Guess what? A potential agent won’t go there and pay the extra on the off-chance that yours is a work of genius.

The same holds true about return postage. If the agency guidelines (yes, those again!) say to enclose a stamped addressed envelope big enough to hold your MS, do it. Don’t subscribe to the oft-quoted idea that if you don’t enclose return postage, the agent won’t need it. Follow the instructions.

While we’re on the subject of posting out your work, do yourself a favour and send out a fresh, clean copy each time. No agent wants to wade through a manuscript covered with scribbled out notes and unexplained stains from previous use. The extra paper and printer ink are worth the effort to look professional.

1. Forget it and write something else.

Yes, my number one tip for finding an agent is to submit your manuscript and forget about it. If you sit by the door holding your breath as the postman approaches each morning, you’ll drive yourself insane. The best thing to do is forget it and start on your next book (you’ll want to something ready in case the agent says, ‘I like your writing, what else do you have?’)

Do NOT chase the agent for a response. Not after a week, not after a month, not after a year. Trust me, if they want to talk to you, they’ll contact you. Yes, there’s always the chance that your MS got lost in the post, or dropped down the back of the reader’s desk. If they don’t reply, put it down to fate and move on. I think I can safely say that no agent has changed her mind about rejecting a book because the writer called to hurry her opinion.

So, there you are – my 10 top tips to help you get a literary agent. Do I know everything? No. Will every tip apply to every writer or agent? Of course not. All I have to go on is my experience and, through that experience, I did it. If I can, so can you.

Good luck!

Tommy

I woke up wondering which three books I would keep if this really happened. It’s a tough question. In fact, I’m sitting here, looking at my bookshelves, and I still don’t know. OK – time to force myself! Here’s a possible three book line-up…

The Lord Of The Rings. Yes, I know it’s a trilogy, but I’ve got a copy that has all three volumes in one book, so I hope I’m allowed to keep that. Years ago I had an operation and was laid up for two weeks afterwards. I had a friend pick me up some Tolkien reference books from the library, and I re-read LOTR but, this time, stopping at every name, song or poem and cross-referencing them. It was slow going and I’m sure I only scratched the surface, but it gave me a brief look at the sheer scale of Tolkien’s writing.

Dictionary/Thesaurus. Another two books in one! I love words, so a book like this would be a must for me. I am wary of filling my writing with long or complicated words just to try and look like ‘a writer’, however. If you write for children, you must always remember your audience every time you sit at the computer screen.

This third book is a real problem. What to choose? A classic – I’d go for Catcher In The Rye by JD Salinger. ‘Literature’? David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. A biography – Harpo Speaks, the story of Harpo Marks is wonderful. Poetry by Wordsworth or Keats? What about a modern book, a children’s favourite, or even one of my own? I think, in the end, I would have to choose:

The Complete Works Of William Shakespeare. Yes, another multi-book tome. At least it would take some time to read! While I’m not someone who bangs on about the importance of Shakespeare, I do enjoy his plays (Othello being my favourite).

So, there you go – the three books I’m allowed to keep. What would you choose?

Tommy

Sam’s website for the book is here, and I heartily recommend you pick up a copy of Tim for yourself! Great stuff!

Tommy

The post is here and it’s essential reading for anyone who wants to be published.

Tommy

I’m a little nervous, but really looking forward to meeting everyone and spreading the Scream Street word. I shall report back on how it went soon!

Tommy

Making A Drama Out Of A Crisis will feature drama games and exercises designed to help moderate behaviour in the classroom.  I’ve got a handful of fantastic teachers around the country willing to test out these exercises and report back as to how they worked out.

I’m hoping he book will really help teachers in their day to day dealings with pupils.  I just have to find time to write the book now…!

Tommy

Tommy